Judith Victoria Hensley Plain Thoughts
May 8, 2014
Motherhood is not for wimps, nor for those who don’t have staying power. Even adult children are our babies for the rest of their lives.
When my son hit his teen years and had begun driving and trying to assert his independence, I was an obnoxious mom and I didn’t care if his friends knew it. If he had pals over to spend the night, I stood at the door and hugged each one as they entered, smelling their breath for signs of alcohol, or the fumes of smoking on their clothes. They knew it and they still came.
When he hit the age that popularity with his peers was the most driving force in his life, I gave him permission to tell his friends I was a witch about him coming in on time, and not doing things that none of them should be doing, and that I would ground him forever and a day if I found out about him participating in any foolishness.
I didn’t care if he or his friends thought I was the bad guy. They may have, but they still came. They still seemed to like me.
Children don’t need their parents to be their besties. They need parents to be parents, to set reasonable rules, and enforce them. They need parents to take active roles in their lives and support them as they grow and try to figure out what path they need to or want to take.
The current generation of children are more isolated from their parents and the real world than any generation before them. Parents want to make sure their kids can keep up with the Jones’s kids. So, they have their own bedroom with a sofa, TV, mini refrigerator, cell phone, lap top, I-pad, and every other cool device on the market that is designed to hit their age group. So they spend more and more time away from their parents and siblings, doing their own thing in their own room – all alone.
I recently sat at a food court of a major mall in a northern Kentucky city. There were groups of teens walking around together and all of them texting, tweeting, or talking on their cell phones instead of interacting with the live people around them. Then I noticed families sitting in the food court at tables, or other groups of kids and every single one of them was texting away on their cell phones, eating without even looking at each other, and never saying a word out loud to the people right across the table.
This is a serious condition taking hold of people today – isolationism. How is it possible to be surrounded by people, or even traveling in a group, and still be totally alone? Why would anyone want to spend a day with someone who never looks at them, speaks their name, or smiles at them because they are too busy interacting with a texting device?
But there is still hope – as long as moms are willing to be moms. I sure knew where my Mom stood on any issue and she was not afraid to let us know. She cared for us emotionally, physically, spiritually, and educationally. She fed us, kept our house a pleasant place to be and invite friends, loved us, and supervised us. She loved us fiercely and she didn’t care who knew it. She also wasn’t afraid of acting like a mom and holding us accountable. I thank God for my little momma.
Come on, Moms! Set some rules. Limit social media time. Make your children do chores. Set aside some family time that is strictly enforced and no media devices allowed. Don’t try to be a bestie or show your kids how cool you can be. Be a mom. A child’s list of friends will change many times through the years, but Mom will be Mom forever.